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Master Napster - The Wanker Factor
Posted by netwebly | 12.8.2000
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The Wanker Factor
Just as you'll find an undesirable element present on other places on the web, you'll find plenty of would-be-wankers waiting on Napster. If a person is so inclined there are all sorts of things that can be done to stir up trouble.

I strongly advise that you resist the temptation, however. Both as a courtesy to the rest of the Napster community and for your own well-being. Nobody's going to sue you for intentionally mislabeling an MP3 file or interrupting a transfer - but they just might find other ways to get back at you.

Wanker in Waiting
One common nasty trick: wait until somebody with a slow connection has almost finished downloading a file and then bump them off at the last second. Then giggle. Wait patiently as your new friend tries to run the download again and repeat bumping maneuver. Giggle more.
Guess what? It's official: You have absolutely no life.

The Wanker special
Another move people seem to enjoy: Create bogus MP3 files containing a recording of yourself singing classic rock tunes or rapping accompanied by a friend strumming an out of tune guitar with the sound of your bong bubbling in the background. Label the track as a rare studio cut/live recordings/guest appearance featuring an artist you think people will like
. Spread the word on the chat rooms and forums.
Guess what? You really are a wanker.

Wanker with a badge
A particularly stupid thing to do. Creating a new napster account with a user name calculated to create fear among your fellow users - like say, Special Agent Bronsonburger - may seem like a fun thing to do at four o'clock in the morning after you've had a few too many, but in the long run it will only cause you trouble when the real special agent Bronsonburger finds out what you've been up to and comes after you with a zap stick and plastic handcuffs.

On the other hand it may be worth it to you: if only for the few fleeting minutes of pleasure you derive from imagining the expressions on other users' faces when they see special agent Bronsonburger show up in their transfer window.

The other problem with your little scheme: nobody is going to fall for it.


Wanker is as Wanker does
Perhaps the most antisocial trick in the wanker's arsenal. Take advantage of the various factional and sectarian rivalries common among music fans to sow confusion and spread hatred by mislabeling files in imaginative and devious ways.

How? Take heavy Metal songs and aim them at smooth jazz and easy listening fans. Give classic rock fans a taste of the beasties. Play off the East Coast-West coast rivalry in rap.
Start your own Barry Manilow resurgence. The possibilities are endless. Your Wanker cred will grow with each bogus file you add to the system.

The only drawback to the imaginative little games you're playing?

You're a wanker for life. And everybody is going to know it.

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